He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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