butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
