the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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