i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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