Your mouth is God's brothel.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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