If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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