The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
