Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I party with great urgency now.
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