He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
