I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize