Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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