Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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