Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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