That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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