respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
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Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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