it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
