woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
