Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
