woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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