Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
