i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
