Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
