Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
how does that bad decision feel?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
