I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize