proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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