Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
