I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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