I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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