I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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