I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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