i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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