He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
