Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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