She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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