You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
