my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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