I will die if light touches me.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize