are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
