sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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