Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
