Just fell off a train. Bad.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Randomize