I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
not ubering you a puppy
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
