the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
