I'm lost and stupid without you.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
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