Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
