I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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