There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
