So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize