she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
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