Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
