I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
