Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
