Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
That's intense
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Randomize
