At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Randomize
