He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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