I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
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